Under the Microscope

The same week my first self-published novel is being sent out to Publisher's Weekly to be judged by the pro's, my twenty-five page thesis for my Master's degree is being sent off to the review committee to decide whether or not I've earned my degree. It has been very hard to focus on anything outside of these events, but if ever there was an excuse to lose focus, I think I have a good one.

I'm not too worried about my thesis. Academic writing is a lot like math. If you can show your work by having enough examples to back up your case, you've proven your point. It doesn't matter if the review committee likes Virginia Woolf and it doesn't matter if they're having a bad day. As long as my thesis can take them from point A to point B smoothly, I've passed. 

Creative writing is another world altogether. It's personal. It's personal for the writer and it is personal for the reader. I can write about anything I want to write. I write about things that I would personally love to read about, but there is no way to guarantee that another living soul would enjoy my story. If I've learned anything from my experience as a quarter-finalist in ABNA [see this post here if you would like to read more about this competition] it is that it all comes down to another person's opinion. I'll assume we've all heard the saying about opinions and a certain part of the human anatomy, and continue by saying that we can't take other people's opinions so personally. There's a quote I love by Epictetus (Greek philosopher AD 55 - AD 135) If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it. I love this quote and it is so relevant to self-publishing.  

The ABNA excerpts are live on Amazon. If you do a search for "ABNA 2014" it will pull up all of the excerpts. The Runner link is here and you're more than welcome to download and review my excerpt. Amazon published the vine reviewer comments on the strongest aspect of the excerpt. I'm glad they did this, because I hope it will help to keep things positive. I'll post my full vine reviews below (there are two). I may be the only entrant in history to have such similar opinions on the strengths and weaknesses of my excerpt. Also, I was very fortunate to have two reviewers who had a lot to say. I believe each vine reviewer gets a minimum of 40 excerpts to review in a short period of time and I felt as if my reviews weren't rushed at all, but that they took their time and they both gave me such excellent feedback.

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

I found the concept of The Runner intriguing. The home village of Avi, designed by her father was a fresh and innovative concept that I found admirable. Rome was the culmination of the bringing together the ideals of a history professor (“if we don’t learn from history we’re doomed to repeat it”) plus the security measures of arms experts and finally the off-the-grid thinking of the Amish. I’m anxious for the novel to move the setting into her town so I can learn more of the actual hardware that has been derived from the melding of these three sectors. I’ve already called to mind the mantra of Frank Lloyd Wright’s “Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union."

What aspect needs the most work?

Although the idea was wonderful I found the writing to be a little awkward and not as free flowing as I’d like. On a 1 to 10 scale of comfortable fluid movement of descriptive writing I’d probably give this a 6. This should be an easy fix for any author when they develop a little more maturity in the field. Also, the beginning was jarring. Boom! Avi found the children. I think some additional background and tension build up may have made for more effective start.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

For the most part I liked this excerpt a lot. I was grabbed more by the Global Warming, Off-switch, Rome concept and by Avi as a runner. I think the writing lacks maturity but that can be fixed with rewrites and time. The story line translates into advantageous visuals to bring the reader into the time and place. All in all, I can see this being reworked into a sought out book for the young reader.

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

The strongest aspect of this excerpt is the terrific premise. At some point in the future, the world has reached a tipping point in global warming and the grid has been shut down. What was once known as modern society has been essentially replaced with a war-like agrarian socity. The narrator of this novel, Avi, is what is known as a runner. Each family in this new society must provide a runner--runners are messengers who travel (or run) between the various villages. Avi is almost at the end of her term as a runner and she starts seeing things that really disturb her. While this piece takes elements from the Hunger Games, it is not derivative. Nicely done!

What aspect needs the most work?

This excerpt is very strong, but I think the one aspect that could use some work is that the writing can be tightened a bit. There are a few instances where it seems the writing is a bit self-conscious and doesn't flow as well as it could. For instance, the part where Avi describes herself physically seems a little odd and out of place in the narrative.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

Overall, I think this is a very strong excerpt. The story of Avi, the runner, is very interesting and compelling. The dystopian backstory is very creative. The writing is fairly strong (although, as noted above, it could use some tightening). Avi's voice is empathetic and consistent throughout. The excerpt is paced very well and it is an interesting read. I look forward to reading the rest of the novel.